“Yes, But” = ?

 

“You’ve got a big fat butt!” exclaimed my roleplay partner Steve, triumphantly.

 

We were at a sales kickoff training session where the speaker exhorted us to change our typical “Yes, but…” responses in discussions to “Yes, and…” He pointed out that when most people hear “Yes, but…” what they are really hearing is “No.”

 

He said, “Yes, and…” is a stronger approach to offering a response, particularly when your reply represents a different opinion, direction, or guidance. He noted that comedians skilled in improv always build on their colleagues’ previous ideas. “Yes, and…” is a terrific way to accomplish this.

 

The speaker used a simple and ultimately very effective way to teach us the “Yes, and…” alternative. He paired us up, instructed us to choose a discussion topic, and told us to take opposing views.

 

“In your dialog,” he said, “any time you hear, ‘Yes, but…’ from your partner you need to yell, ‘You’ve got a big fat butt!’”

 

It didn’t long before people were shouting, “You’ve got a big fat butt!” across the venue, along with a lot of laughter. 

 

The training worked. I believe that nearly all of us who attended have been careful to use the “Yes, and…” approach ever since.

 

Moral: There’s a lot we can learn from improv!

 

Teaser: This is an example story from my upcoming new book, “Suspending Disbelief: A Collection of Sales and Presales Stories (and Lessons Learned)