Thursday, December 11, 2008

Debilitating Demo Diseases – Acronymophilia


Symptoms: Fits of sentences filled with vendor-specific acronyms, used both as nouns and verbs. Assumption that audience has already been exposed to these dozens of acronyms and has a comfortable, working understanding of them. Looks of confusion in the audience, followed by doodling and furtive glances at wristwatches.

Examples: “So, the ABT triggers each PTD, resulting in as many SHRP’s as needed.”

“Next, every SHRP will be JY’ed in accordance with the specific WVM settings, which is then picked-up by the TMT module and FRP’ed. Questions?”

Cure: A prescription of Acro-rid™ is recommended for mild and moderate cases; have the afflicted take two pills before presenting to help loosen and remove acronyms. Encourage patient to either verbalize the full word-sets or replace with customer-meaningful phrases. In severe cases, a radical acronectomy may be necessary to remove all untreated acronyms.

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