Friday, November 17, 2017

Friday Funnies - Sales Kickoff Infrastructure Set-Up List

[Provided by a Great Demo! customer, with a few adds/edits from me…]

I've been to a few of these things and I think the list of requirements is pretty well defined:

  • A fully saturated insecure hotel guest wifi that almost reaches the middle of the room
  • One power outlet per 50 people, located at the sides of the room next to trash cans
  • Round tables so that 1/3 of the audience has to spin around in their chairs to see
  • Projector with 640 x 400 resolution at 50 lumens (~5 candlepower)
  • An ancient 90' VGA cable that has been taped down to provide 3" of slack at the podium but enough weight to drag a laptop off the side
  • Power and projector cables that run from behind the screen directly in the path of the presenter (two at least, please), snaking out from underneath the screen tripod legs suitably oriented to trip the presenter as he/she moves in front of the screen
  • A 200GB pre-configured VM that should be "downloaded before you show up" but is only linked in the morning of the travel day
  • 135 slides per each 45-minute slot, with the marketing ones at the front of the deck (mandatory)
  • Podium (only) for presenting, with enough room for a laptop, but not a mouse – matched with a stool designed for some other purpose (too high or too low)
  • Room lighting that washes out the screen
  • AC system with two modes (way too hot; way too cold)
  • Speaker system carefully positioned to provide maximum feedback “squeal” if the presenter moves more than 7 mm from the podium…

And, of course, the overall agenda needs to be over-packed with back-to-back PPT-based presentations running over-time…
Followed by the bus trip to the “surprise” team-building event…
That takes place in Orlando…


Any to add?

1 comment:

Benjamin Derr said...

The team building needs to be on the last day, when everyone is fully alcohol saturated and tired of conversation.