Obscure Engineering Conversion Factors
[Warning – some possibility of
political incorrectness]
Time between slipping on a peel and
smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1
nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie
beer = 1 Lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod
Serling
Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to
its diameter = Eskimo Pi
1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1
hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = a
straight line
Weight an evangelist carries with God =
1 billigram
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
2000 mockingbirds = two
kilomockingbirds
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig
Newton
1000 ccs of wet socks = 1 literhosen
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
And my favorite arcane unit of
measure: Furlongs per Fortnight.
Mixed Metaphor Month
Vote for the worst (or best, depending
on how you view this…!) mixed metaphor (all real, captured from various blogs
and articles):
- “While it may seem like good sense to cover all your
bases, throwing too much at your prospect actually weakens your message.
Even a short diversion from focus can confuse the issue and cause your
prospect to tune out during an otherwise stellar case. You make your
prospect do all the work of picking out and remembering the most relevant
pieces.”
Love it: “Cover bases, throw too
much, tune out, stellar case, picking out pieces.”
- “If you have a presentation that runs two to three
hours or more, you’re starting to cover a lot of ground. A theme is
helpful in tying ideas together and making it easier for your prospect to
see the relationship between different sections by providing a common
thread.”
And: “Cover ground, tying
together, see relationship, common thread.”
- “With these ideas in your back pocket, you can break
through to the toughest of clients and keep your organization firing on
all cylinders no matter how much of a time crunch you are in.”
Short but packed! “Back pocket,
break through, fire on all cylinders, time crunch.” I think this is the
winner…!
- "And like the U.N. Security Council Members, it only
takes one veto to kill an entire deal. Because of the proliferation of
stakeholders needed to approve a deal to get it off the ground, a sure
thing can become dead in the water long after the sales cycle seems over."
Better have the Security Council
equipped with both wings and fins…
- "Our reps use our … platform which provides
the toolset they need to spread your compelling sales message and get
those who buy in the wiggle room they need for others to sign off on their
decision."
This one mixes a bad case of rampaging
pronouns with toolsets and wiggle rooms!
- "Modern decision-makers have a million things to take
care of, so even a small objection or a momentary scheduling snag can
threaten to eject them out of your funnel as their plate fills up with
other priorities."
Wow…
Don’t people ever proof their posts?
Others (conversion factors/units or mixed metaphors) to
add? Have a Happy (Calendar) New Year in
any case!
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